Not A Germophobe

May 30, 2011 by · Leave a Comment
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Sickophobia

Sickophobia

I just realized that I’m not really a germophobe. That’s what people have called me and what I’ve called myself for a long time. But I’m not scared of germs. I just don’t like getting sick. I’d call myself more of a “germ avoider” or “germ eschewer.”

I know my immune system will not let me die if I get some nasty germs in my system. But the way it protects me from dying is to propel the germs out of my body, possibly urgently, out either one end or the other. And I just can’t think of any time that is a “good time” to get sick and be either projectilely vomiting or having explosive diarrhea. Not to mention a major desire simply not to go through that.

So it’s not so much that I fear germs, it’s more that I fear losing time and going through unpleasantness by being sick. I’m a “sickophobe.”


Happy New Year

January 16, 2010 by · 1 Comment
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I love this year – 2010. It just looks so new and fresh and promising.

Today I got some money I’ve been expecting, so now I can move out of this rat-hole we’ve been living in for the last 6 months. The Palisades in Bellevue Washington. Without exception, the worst place I’ve ever lived. I’ll make a separate blog post about it, because I don’t want to drag down this one.

I didn’t do much today for a change. I’ve been working constantly – just launched a huge project, plus keeping all my other regular clients happy. I have new potential clients I’m discussing details with, so business is not just holding but improving.

Charlie is still having trouble at school, but he’s doing better than he ever has. And for the first time he is in a program/place with people who truly understand his problems and seem to know how to handle them. His teacher claims to really love him in class, despite the challenges he brings. She’s probably only the 2nd special ed teacher he’s ever had who not only understands and cares but has what it takes to reach him.

That being said, even though I detest living in Bellevue, I’m going to make sure we stay in Bellevue when we move so that he can stay in his current school/class/situation. That actually shows how much I think of the teacher/program he has now – because I seriously want out of Bellevue. Fortunately we can move to right up to the Redmond/Kirkland side and still have his school as the home school. Then I can just shop and do errands in Redmond and Kirkland and avoid Bellevue for the most part.

I’ve really enjoyed Facebook lately. I don’t like its interface as much as other platforms. But for some reason it’s really popular, and I’ve been able to connect and really re-acquaint myself with a large number of my graduating high school class. I’m sure a reunion in person would be great – a whole other element to see each other face to face. But this adds so much more. I get a glimplse into their daily lives, pics of them and their families, a daily feed of what is important in their lives, what they do for a living, etc. It’s interesting to see how people have grown and what they’ve done with their lives in the nearly 25 years since we’ve graduated.

I guess that is enough spewing via the keyboard for one day. I have to go check Facebook… 🙂


Too Many Thoughts In My Head

October 29, 2009 by · Leave a Comment
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I swear, I need a brain catheter. I have so much in my head that I need to get out, but I don’t have time to blog it all. So I usually wind up not blogging at all, and it all gets mashed up in an internal traffic jam.

I guess I’ll do one big update today, then just commit to blogging in bits here and there as the mood strikes me. That’s what I used to do on Diary-X, but for some reason having an actual blog, in this format, makes me feel like I have to write little essays and keep it formal and limited.

But hey, it’s *my* blog, right? What I really want is to be able to do little silly, simple updates whenever I want, so that’s what I’m going to do. I’m also going to change the layout & format a bit in the near future. But I digress. Here is my big update!

CHARLIE

First and foremost on my mind lately is Charlie. He is 7 (and a few months)-years-old now and in the second grade. He is in a program called “Cascade,” which is a “special education” program for kids with severe behavior and emotional problems due to developmentaly disability, health impairment or other issues. He was recently re-evaluated, and his official diagnosis has changed from “Developmentally Disabled” to “Health Impaired.”

Actually, I’m not even going to go into it much about Charlie. It’s too hard/emotional and there is too much to explain. He has problems that are organic and he is still undergoing testing. He will be evaluated again at Children’s Hospital early next year, and I expect their diadnosis of ADHD and ODD with possible Autism to change to Autism with ADHD & ODD. (ODD is Oppositional Definace Disorder)

He is really good at reading & writing, which I suspected he would be, even though his speech cognition (how well he understands what is said to him) is only 16th percentile (to be average would be 50th percentile). This is something that happens sometimes with autistic people, even in extreme cases. They can’t communicate verbally, but they can write like a college professor. Charlie, fortunately, only has the verbal impairment to a smaller degree. And I have it a bit myself. I definitely communicate better in e-mail than I do on the phone or in person. I’m really not surprised he is doing so well with reading.

Anyway, he is getting tall and is a bit lanky, as his meds surpress his appetite quite a bit. He loves to draw and build elaborate cities with his GeoTrax sets and really likes Wheel Of Fortune. I’ll post some pics in the next day or two and maybe a video or two. He chose the costume of fighter pilot for Halloween so he could be a Blue Angel.

WORK

Work is great when I can do it, but Charlie is only in school 28 hours per week, and it is really hard to work when he is home. I try to work after he goes to bed, but I am usually so exhausted by then that I make stupid mistakes and it’s not usually a good idea!

My plan was to turn Blog Solace into an actual business with a registered business name and everything, but it turns out it is better to stay individual. So I am turning Blog Solace into an overall blog help site while still offering my services on that site and SherryDedman.com as an independent contractor/individual. I keep improving my skills and getting more development jobs, so my rates keep going up, which is good. I just wish I could devote more time to it.

I would definitely be a work-a-holic if I didn’t have Charlie to look after. I really love what I do and plan to expand on it as soon as I can, teaching classes and possibly writing an e-book or two, if not an actual book for publication. I like the idea of the e-book, though, because it can be updated regularly – tech books get out-of-date really quickly.

LIFE

Life lately is pretty much just Charlie and Work. I’m not dating (I haven’t got the energy or emotional reserve for it right now, not to mention the time). I’ve fallen behind in my exercise habits, so I cancelled Netflix and got a monthly membership to 24-Hour Fitness for the same price and plan to start catching up on that. I have no travel plans and wow, I guess life is pretty boring, recreationally-speaking.

I guess a lot of what is on my mind is plans for Charlie, plans for my site/blogs, travelling I’d like to do, some development plans I have, etc. Oh, and I would love to work on my novel durning NaNoWriMo – I got a good start on it last year! At this rate, I’ll have it done in 2015. LOL


So What Is Up With The Pants?

March 24, 2009 by · Leave a Comment
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I have a very hard time finding pants for Charlie.  Besides the fact that he was part of that mini-baby-boom in 2002 (they’re blaming 9/11 for that – whole other story) and everything in his size is gone if I don’t get there as soon as they put everything out, for some reason they just almost never make pull-on pants in his size for boys!

I don’t understand that.  Virtually all pants that I see for boys are jeans (and of course nearly all of those are zip with snap or button).  And event he dress pants are the same way.  So I look for sweat pants for him, and I can almost never find normal sweat pants in his size, either.

They’re either Adidas or Nike and $30-$40 each.  Or they are made of that slick material – and being a “sensory kid,” Charlie can’t tolerate the noise they make when he walks or moves!

I don’t understand 1) why they make most pants for a kid his age that have zip/snap (that’s a challenge for any kid, and especially for Charlie) and 2) whatever happened to good old sweat pants in regular “sweats” material?  Frustrating!  This wouldn’t be an issue, I guess, if I’d learned to sew like my Mom wanted me to!  LOL

Work is awesome, but it’s kind of driving me insane.  I’m at that point where I am getting more work than I can do, which is the classic sign it’s time to raise your rates.  So I guess I will be doing that soon.  It’s good, because every time I raise my rates, I attract larger/better jobs from bigger sites/companies.  But it’s also a lot more pressure, a lot more communication and it still doesn’t ever seem to leave me with evenings/weekends free *at all*.  I’m always working.

I think I’m just going to have to start having set hours and be firm about it.  Most offices are only open “8-4:30” or whatever.  Maybe I need to start doing that.  And just take on a few small/side jobs nights and weekends *only when I feel like it*.  I need some free time that I can count on, or I’m going to burn out/go nuts.

Last but not least, ‘Quantum of Solace’ came out on DVD today!  I got it from the video store the moment they opened this morning and am finally going to watch it tonight.  The title was the inspiration for my business name, Blog Solace, so it’s about time I saw it, I think!


7 Years

March 23, 2009 by · Leave a Comment
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Good morning!  I just got back from my little drive that I take almost every morning after getting Charlie off to school.  It sort of clears my head and allows me to focus.  Organize my thoughts for the day.  Take in the sights & sounds and see what’s going on in the world.  Plus I usually get a coffee, too, and my mood focuses, improves while the caffeine kicks in!

Then I get home, sit down at my computer, turn on the fireplace and some music and say, “Hello, work-at-home life, I love you!”  As much of a pain in the ass running your own business can be at times (dealing with high-maintenance clients, following up on leads, invoicing, accounting, etc – all things that have nothing to do with the actual work I do), as much of a pain as all that can be, you really can’t beat the lifestyle.  It’s been a really hard road to get to this point (I’m at “breaking even,” but growing steadily), but it’s really worth it.

They say that in 7 years’ time, every cell in your body has died off and been replaced and, strictly physically, you are completely different than you were 7 years ago.  In 7 years’ time, I’ve gone from party girl to mother to mother and small-business owner.

 Interestingly all of those things that lead to a better version of me came about in the darkest period of my life.  Divorce, a horrific court battle with Charlie’s father in which he got away with murder (in a matter of speaking – those who have followed my blog over the years know what I’m talking about), training for medical transcription that sucked the life out of me and never went anywhere, a 6-year relationship that sucked the life and soul out of me and never went anywhere, a short stint at Safeway as an administrative assistant (I actually learned a lot about business at that job, since the tragedies that happened to my supervisors left me virtually running things at times), a misguided move to Iowa for 15 months, and Charlie’s emerging developmental disability that prevented me from going in to work since I couldn’t get care for him.  Thus forcing me to either go on welfare or forge my own business.  I chose the latter.

I’m really lucky that something I was so interested in and taught myself turned/turns out to be in really high demand right now.  It’s also teaching me development skills (and I’m taking online tutorials) in PHP, so if the WordPress jobs ever go away, I’ll at least have development skills to carry me.  Along with project planning, project management experience and the experience of building a successful business.  Yes, I’m pretty lucky.  I do work damned hard and sacrifice a lot, but luck/fate had a hand as well.

On top of all of that, I have been working on some of my character deficits.  The unhealthy ways I’ve dealt with the traumas going on in my life.  The isolation/non-socialization I’ve built (along with major walls).  The negative, fatalistic attitude and more.  I’ve been going to a sort of group therapy and doing actual work on myself, actively, for about 6 weeks now, and I can feel it actually starting to sink in.

So – 7 years – that’s been quite a journey – all of my molecules have changed.  My outlook has changed.  My family/living situation has changed. My vocation/career outlook has changed. Am I still me?  I dunno – I like mostly the same foods, I like the same music, I like the same stupid jokes – I’m still mischievous as hell and like to make people laugh.  My best friend from high school and my sister are still my favorite people in the world.

I guess I’m still me – just new & improved.  New coat of paint – a little structural shoring up.  Yep – It’s Sherryness!


My Morning Blog-It

March 22, 2009 by · Leave a Comment
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I’m trying to get into the habit of blogging every morning.  I’ve neglected my blog for the most part for a really long time.  And I have a lot to say, so might as well spew it here and not bore people in real life.  LOL  At least if you’re here reading this online, you don’t find my rambling boring, hopefully – or you wouldn’t be here!

I thought I would be working right now, but I’m waiting to hear back from two clients, so decided just to work on my own stuff.  I have three really good sites that could do really well if I put as much effort into them as I do my clients’ sites.  And I really want to get some other income going so I can start taking weekends off and for times when business is slow (although it’s been gangbusters since the beginning of this year!).

I’d also like to travel more and spend more one-on-one time with Charlie.  Sis and Charlie and I are going to San Francisco in June (which I’ve mentioned several times – yes, I’m excited!), and I have a good friend who lives near Lake Chelan wh0 I don’t see enough.  I also would like to get to some of these conferences like WordCamp and some of the Social Media conferences they have around the country.  Could be very good for business.  I also have a chance to go to England this year, and I’ve wanted to go since I was 15, so I don’t want to miss that!

So yeah, I’ll be working on those other sites today.  Charlie & I are also meeting Donna for a quick lunch, but that’s about it for my big Sunday plans.  Apparently if I lived in the U.K. I’d be celebrating Mother’s Day today – I learned that from some people on Twitter.  Twitter is just such a fount of information – I should write a blog post on all the positive effect Twitter has had on my business!

Once I start rambling, I know it’s time to sign off.  Later!


Hi, Sis!

February 16, 2009 by · Leave a Comment
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I’m so glad Donna, aka Cupcake, updated her blog – It’s only been FIVE MONTHS! Sheesh. 🙂 The spa sounds fun – I wish I wasn’t so busy – I would partake in that!

This morning I am just working – Or trying to. Charlie is being very high-maintenance, but not in a bad way. He keeps wanting stories and a hug and cereal and asking to go to the park. He’s being very sweet, which makes it that much harder that I have to work and can’t spend time with him (he’s on mid-winter break from school all this week). I told him we would have our lunch at the park, so at least that is something. In the meantime, I hope he will get occupied in something so I can work. I have so much work, I really need to catch up.

Ok, enough procrastinating in my blog. Going to try to work now…


Donna’s Birthday

February 15, 2009 by · 1 Comment
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Today was Donna’s 39th birthday – Yay! She wanted to go to Olive Garden, so Charlie and I met her and Erik there around 11 a.m. Charlie wasn’t on his best behavior but managed to turn it around a little bit. At least he didn’t hug the waiter and say that he loves him this time! Although that might have been preferable!

After that we went to Donna’s and had cake. I got her an iTunes gift certificate which she claims to love – I hope she does! Then I wanted to get her some earrings, but Charlie pointed to some really pretty ones while I was still looking, so I wound up getting those for her – So those were kind of from Charlie. Then Charlie picked out a candleholder with butterflies and some candles. I thought he actually made better choices for gifts for Donna than I did! I guess he has good taste. 🙂

After that I met briefly with a client, got a second round of coffee (which is one of the reasons why I feel like it’s only about 4:30 when it’s really nearly 9 p.m.!) and came home and worked. Oh, I forgot something at Donna’s so we had to drive back down there, so that was almost another hour.

So here I am working into the night, taking a little break to update my blog since I never do. Not that bad of a Sunday. I just wish we’d been able to go for a walk, but maybe tomorrow.


Just A Little Update, Yet Again

February 9, 2009 by · Leave a Comment
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I should really keep this blog updated so I don’t have to do these big updates!

CURRENT EVENTS

Today is the 62nd anniversary of my Mom’s birth. Donna gave me flowers, and we went to lunch in Seattle. We always celebrate Mom’s birthday one way or another since she died and try to be extra-nice to each other. I’m sure she’d be pleased; she was always pleading with us to get along when we were kids! Anyway, Happy Birthday, Mom; we miss you!

CURRENTLY READING:

I started on a book called ‘Labyrinth’ but have had almost no time to try to read it. I haven’t read enough to form any opinion of it yet.

CURRENTLY WORKING ON:

Everything! Business is booming, which is wonderful. I now have a base of regular clients and new work coming in all the time. I’ve been learning PHP/MySQL which really helps increase the number of projects I am qualified to take on. Soon after that I am planning on developing my first WordPress theme from scratch. I’m not the greatest designer there ever was, but I think developing a theme from scratch will teach me a LOT and improve my skills/offerings that much more.

CURRENT MOOD:

Lot’s of inner/spiritual improvements going on. In the last year, I’ve truly gone from simply trying to survive to actually feeling optimistic about life and hoping for things I’d kind of given up on. I’m actively working on the things I need to do to make positive changes and to truly be able to thrive and not just survive.

CURRENT RELATIONSHIP STATUS:

Life being totally single isn’t the most fun thing in the world, but it’s better than being in a bad relationship. I feel I’ve left behind constant stress, bad feelings, distrust and low self-esteem by standing alone and not running back to the “band-aid” relationship I had for so long with the person I was seeing after my divorce. That relationship coming right on top of my divorce left a very bad taste in my mouth for very long time. But I’m slowly but surely beginning to find that that is not all there is out there. And my “Relationship Status” has gone from “Single, Not-Looking” to “Single, and Slowly-Maybe-Opening-Up-To-New-Possibilities.” 🙂

FUTURE THOUGHTS:

All of my plans for my business are coming together with all kinds of exciting things in the works. I’m even branching out soon to Video Tutorials for my blog on Blog Solace for some of the more advanced WordPress plug-ins. This should bring in quite a bit of new traffic.

The trip to San Francisco is still on, but now Donna is planning to come with Charlie & Me for the first 3 days or so. It will be really fun to visit, *with her*, all our old stomping grounds and meander down memory lane. And meeting Brian is a must! If he has time for us between all his acting and VO gigs. 🙂

Anyway, the future looks bright – Exciting and promising possibilities . . .

WRAP-UP

I’m not really feelin’ a wrap-up. Life is fluid; it keeps moving and changing. Here’s to the next event on the horizon!


Just A Litte Update

December 22, 2008 by · Leave a Comment
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CURRENT EVENTS:

Wow, it just keeps snowing.  It let up enough to take Charlie to Donna’s to spend the night on Saturday, with plans for him to stay over Saturday and Sunday.  But now the weather is looking like getting him back tomorrow is going to be a challenge!  I have to do it, though.  He is driving her nuts.  LOL  If you’re not used to being around him all the time, two days in a row with him can be a bit much.  So I’m committed to getting him back tomorrow, for her sanity.  Plus I miss him!

CURRENTLY READING:

The Savage Garden by Mark Mills – A story that started out a bit bland at first, but that has turned into one of amazing imagery and intrigue. It’s a murder mystery dating back 400 years and the setting is a garden. The garden is laid out in a very deliberate way, offering clues, to the keen eye, as to what really happened. Especially enjoyable if you love Italy and Renaissance art.  🙂

CURRENTLY WORKING ON:

All of my favorite/regular clients have had work for me this month!  I love working on their sites and the fact that so many of my clients become my friends.  The work is very varied, and one of the jobs affords me the opportunity to learn aMember for WordPress!  So I’m especailly enjoying that.

CURRENT MOOD:

Feeling really good about life.  Life seems to be finally normalizing.  I have a few different streams of steady income, which has been the basis of my nerves (or virtual nervous breakdown) for so long. Not knowing how to provide for Charlie.  Now my business is getting really regular and on the verge of thriving, and Donna has had a lot of work for me as well.  So I feel like I can concentrate on living instead of just trying to survive.  It helps me enjoy quality time with Charlie (since I’m not a nervous wreck all the time) and helps me get other neglected areas of my life sorted out, such as time for myself and working on my friendships.

CURRENT RELATIONSHIP STATUS:

I’ve cut out seeing Nicholas entirely.  This has been a long time coming, but as many of you know was a difficult thing just to “cut out.”  He’s been a part of my life, and Charlie’s too, since Charlie was 9 months old. It’s for the best, as I’m sure each person in my life would agree (and probably cheer). Among other things, there was no way I was ever going to move on and find someone new with him in my life, and there was no future for us beyond what we had already achieved – which was mostly just fighting about our relationship. It wasn’t good for either one of us, and it’s over.

FUTURE THOUGHTS:

This next year is going to be about building my business, working with Charlie on his challenges, and probably moving to Redmond or Bellevue.  Bothell is a bit too far out of my usual stomping grounds for me, plus this townhome is a little bit too expensive for me.  My lease is up May 1st, and I plan to move then.

I also plan to start to get my life back a bit, with more time for “me.”  I’ve just been taking care of Charlie for so long and nothing else, that I really lost myself a bit.  I hope to socialize more, repair some neglected friendships and make new friends.

I also want to take a vacation next summer.  Charlie loves the movie “Homeward Bound II” – the live action movie with the “two dogs and one cat” as Charlie says!  It takes place in San Francisco, and he said, “Mommy, is there a Golden Gate Bridge in Erf?” (which means “Earth,” which to him means “Is there really such a thing as a Golden Gate Bridge, or was that made up for TV?”)  And I told him yes, and he said, “Can we go there someday?”  So I said sure, we can go on vacation next year.

Next year I won’t have been back to San Francisco for 8 full years, and I think it’s time I did.  There are a lot of “hauntings” there – That’s where I spent my teen years well into my twenties, and it’s where my Mom still lived when she died.  The few times I’ve been back, I’ve seen her everywhere I would go, there.  And so, so many memories, good and bad, everywhere.  Massive nostalgia – so much history.  It was so overwhelming I just haven’t wanted to go back.

But I did love it there, and I would love to go there with my own kid and show him around.  Show him the fun things I used to do, places I used to go, where I went to school and lived.  I think it would be a good thing. And to show him that there really is a Golden Gate Bridge “in Erf.” LOL  There’s also someone there I’d like to say hello to, my first and favorite client – or as he says, “Client-Schmient” ’cause we’re friends now!  That would be awesome, right Brian?  🙂

WRAPUP:

I’ll leave you all with this video I took out my front window today – Snow and more snow!


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