7 Years

March 23, 2009 by · Leave a Comment
Filed under: Just Life 

Good morning!  I just got back from my little drive that I take almost every morning after getting Charlie off to school.  It sort of clears my head and allows me to focus.  Organize my thoughts for the day.  Take in the sights & sounds and see what’s going on in the world.  Plus I usually get a coffee, too, and my mood focuses, improves while the caffeine kicks in!

Then I get home, sit down at my computer, turn on the fireplace and some music and say, “Hello, work-at-home life, I love you!”  As much of a pain in the ass running your own business can be at times (dealing with high-maintenance clients, following up on leads, invoicing, accounting, etc – all things that have nothing to do with the actual work I do), as much of a pain as all that can be, you really can’t beat the lifestyle.  It’s been a really hard road to get to this point (I’m at “breaking even,” but growing steadily), but it’s really worth it.

They say that in 7 years’ time, every cell in your body has died off and been replaced and, strictly physically, you are completely different than you were 7 years ago.  In 7 years’ time, I’ve gone from party girl to mother to mother and small-business owner.

 Interestingly all of those things that lead to a better version of me came about in the darkest period of my life.  Divorce, a horrific court battle with Charlie’s father in which he got away with murder (in a matter of speaking – those who have followed my blog over the years know what I’m talking about), training for medical transcription that sucked the life out of me and never went anywhere, a 6-year relationship that sucked the life and soul out of me and never went anywhere, a short stint at Safeway as an administrative assistant (I actually learned a lot about business at that job, since the tragedies that happened to my supervisors left me virtually running things at times), a misguided move to Iowa for 15 months, and Charlie’s emerging developmental disability that prevented me from going in to work since I couldn’t get care for him.  Thus forcing me to either go on welfare or forge my own business.  I chose the latter.

I’m really lucky that something I was so interested in and taught myself turned/turns out to be in really high demand right now.  It’s also teaching me development skills (and I’m taking online tutorials) in PHP, so if the WordPress jobs ever go away, I’ll at least have development skills to carry me.  Along with project planning, project management experience and the experience of building a successful business.  Yes, I’m pretty lucky.  I do work damned hard and sacrifice a lot, but luck/fate had a hand as well.

On top of all of that, I have been working on some of my character deficits.  The unhealthy ways I’ve dealt with the traumas going on in my life.  The isolation/non-socialization I’ve built (along with major walls).  The negative, fatalistic attitude and more.  I’ve been going to a sort of group therapy and doing actual work on myself, actively, for about 6 weeks now, and I can feel it actually starting to sink in.

So – 7 years – that’s been quite a journey – all of my molecules have changed.  My outlook has changed.  My family/living situation has changed. My vocation/career outlook has changed. Am I still me?  I dunno – I like mostly the same foods, I like the same music, I like the same stupid jokes – I’m still mischievous as hell and like to make people laugh.  My best friend from high school and my sister are still my favorite people in the world.

I guess I’m still me – just new & improved.  New coat of paint – a little structural shoring up.  Yep – It’s Sherryness!


Just A Litte Update

December 22, 2008 by · Leave a Comment
Filed under: Just Life 

CURRENT EVENTS:

Wow, it just keeps snowing.  It let up enough to take Charlie to Donna’s to spend the night on Saturday, with plans for him to stay over Saturday and Sunday.  But now the weather is looking like getting him back tomorrow is going to be a challenge!  I have to do it, though.  He is driving her nuts.  LOL  If you’re not used to being around him all the time, two days in a row with him can be a bit much.  So I’m committed to getting him back tomorrow, for her sanity.  Plus I miss him!

CURRENTLY READING:

The Savage Garden by Mark Mills – A story that started out a bit bland at first, but that has turned into one of amazing imagery and intrigue. It’s a murder mystery dating back 400 years and the setting is a garden. The garden is laid out in a very deliberate way, offering clues, to the keen eye, as to what really happened. Especially enjoyable if you love Italy and Renaissance art.  🙂

CURRENTLY WORKING ON:

All of my favorite/regular clients have had work for me this month!  I love working on their sites and the fact that so many of my clients become my friends.  The work is very varied, and one of the jobs affords me the opportunity to learn aMember for WordPress!  So I’m especailly enjoying that.

CURRENT MOOD:

Feeling really good about life.  Life seems to be finally normalizing.  I have a few different streams of steady income, which has been the basis of my nerves (or virtual nervous breakdown) for so long. Not knowing how to provide for Charlie.  Now my business is getting really regular and on the verge of thriving, and Donna has had a lot of work for me as well.  So I feel like I can concentrate on living instead of just trying to survive.  It helps me enjoy quality time with Charlie (since I’m not a nervous wreck all the time) and helps me get other neglected areas of my life sorted out, such as time for myself and working on my friendships.

CURRENT RELATIONSHIP STATUS:

I’ve cut out seeing Nicholas entirely.  This has been a long time coming, but as many of you know was a difficult thing just to “cut out.”  He’s been a part of my life, and Charlie’s too, since Charlie was 9 months old. It’s for the best, as I’m sure each person in my life would agree (and probably cheer). Among other things, there was no way I was ever going to move on and find someone new with him in my life, and there was no future for us beyond what we had already achieved – which was mostly just fighting about our relationship. It wasn’t good for either one of us, and it’s over.

FUTURE THOUGHTS:

This next year is going to be about building my business, working with Charlie on his challenges, and probably moving to Redmond or Bellevue.  Bothell is a bit too far out of my usual stomping grounds for me, plus this townhome is a little bit too expensive for me.  My lease is up May 1st, and I plan to move then.

I also plan to start to get my life back a bit, with more time for “me.”  I’ve just been taking care of Charlie for so long and nothing else, that I really lost myself a bit.  I hope to socialize more, repair some neglected friendships and make new friends.

I also want to take a vacation next summer.  Charlie loves the movie “Homeward Bound II” – the live action movie with the “two dogs and one cat” as Charlie says!  It takes place in San Francisco, and he said, “Mommy, is there a Golden Gate Bridge in Erf?” (which means “Earth,” which to him means “Is there really such a thing as a Golden Gate Bridge, or was that made up for TV?”)  And I told him yes, and he said, “Can we go there someday?”  So I said sure, we can go on vacation next year.

Next year I won’t have been back to San Francisco for 8 full years, and I think it’s time I did.  There are a lot of “hauntings” there – That’s where I spent my teen years well into my twenties, and it’s where my Mom still lived when she died.  The few times I’ve been back, I’ve seen her everywhere I would go, there.  And so, so many memories, good and bad, everywhere.  Massive nostalgia – so much history.  It was so overwhelming I just haven’t wanted to go back.

But I did love it there, and I would love to go there with my own kid and show him around.  Show him the fun things I used to do, places I used to go, where I went to school and lived.  I think it would be a good thing. And to show him that there really is a Golden Gate Bridge “in Erf.” LOL  There’s also someone there I’d like to say hello to, my first and favorite client – or as he says, “Client-Schmient” ’cause we’re friends now!  That would be awesome, right Brian?  🙂

WRAPUP:

I’ll leave you all with this video I took out my front window today – Snow and more snow!


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